


Sam and Dean are Aquariums and Castiel is a Fish

by proletaricat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Aquariums, Alternate Universe - Fish, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Pet Store, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Castiel is a fish, Crack, F/M, Humor, M/M, Sam and Dean are aquariums, what the fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5896966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/proletaricat/pseuds/proletaricat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't even know. I was reading a synopsis of something and the person was describing the character as an Aquarius but they wrote aquarium, and then this happened. </p><p>Sam and Dean are aquariums and are separated by a freak accident. Slowly they learn to live without each other, and though Dean's life as an aquarium starts out rough, and most of the other parts are rough, at least he is happy in the end. Meanwhile Sam is blissfully happy in his trans-species relationship with the family cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam and Dean are Aquariums and Castiel is a Fish

Sam and Dean are a pair of aquariums, top-of-the-line. While Dean is only a 10-gallon and Sam is a 20-gallon, Dean is made of better glass, so it all equals out in the end. They've both been in the pet store a long time, but one day the pet store gets shut down by PETA and Sam and Dean are separated, given away to different families. They are sad for a time, but eventually learn to live through the pain of losing each other.

Sam’s new family is wonderful and loving, and Sam falls in love with their cat, who is content to climb all on top of him trying to get the fish inside. Sam doesn't care about the fish. All he cares about is Cat.

Meanwhile, Dean is collecting dust in an attic, having been sold to a family for a pet goldfish that then died before it was able to be introduced to Dean. The owners fall ill and all die as well in a freak accident, and firemen are called to the house: they discover it's been a carbon monoxide leak. The house is fixed, then sold a year later to a new family.

He's cold in the attic, because they're in New England. One day the attic door opens, and a little child comes through, and sees him. The child begs his parents for fish to put inside Dean, and Dean has given up hope so isn't really expecting his dreams to come true. But the carbon monoxide issue has been solved and this family does not mysteriously fall ill, and Dean is cleaned out and set up, filled with top-of-the-line aquarium marbles and fitted with an ultra-modern filtration system.

A few days later, the kid brings home the most beautiful goldfish Dean has ever seen. Even though the goldfish's eyes are a little buggy and he's got a fucked up left fin, he's still heavenly. As the fish slowly enters Dean's waters, Dean is overcome with emotion. It feels like a divine revelation, and he feels complete. The fish is shocked to find out how at home he feels in the new aquarium, as he had no friends at the old pet store because he had a fucked up left fin.

Over the days, Dean learns more about his fish, whom the kid calls Goldy but Dean knows his _real_ name is Castiel, which is a perfectly majestic name for a perfectly majestic fish. Minus the fin issue. And the eyes. But Dean can overlook that; it's his first fish ever, after all, and he'd just spent 5 years in a dusty attic because his first family all died at the same time and he was forgotten about. While Dean enjoys the soft massage of Castiel swimming around inside him, he wonders how Sam is doing, if Sam has a good family and if he has a good fish to live inside him.

Meanwhile Sam has continued his love affair with the cat. He's not sure if his affections are reciprocated, but it doesn't matter - you can't help who you fall in love with, and Cat is his One True Mate.

Dean and Castiel engage in a whirlwind romance, which ends in tragedy as they find out the reason for the fucked up left fin is that Castiel has a genetic mutation that causes left fins to be fucked up and also other things go wrong with the body inside or whatever. And then he dies. And Dean mourns but nobody can tell he is crying because he is an aquarium and is filled with water. He thinks he will never love again, and is shocked to find that the parents of the kid in his family get divorced, and a few years down the line of Dean being filled with other (lesser) fish, a new aquarium is brought into the house, along with a new dad and another kid and a cat.

Oh my god! What are the odds? It's Sam again! He's finally engaged to Cat, at least he is pretty sure but Cat doesn't really talk at him, only meows and tries to get her paws inside him to get the fish.

Though Dean is still heartbroken from the loss of Castiel, and seeing Sam and Cat together makes him bitter and jealous, he slowly heals. All of the fish in them die, eventually, and as the kids get older they become interested in other aquarium pets, such as lizards. This is great for Sam and Cat - since Sam's fish died, his relationship with Cat had suffered. They had grown apart as Cat had no reason to spend any time with Sam anymore. He was fearing divorce, but then came the heat lamp and the soft soil and the log and the nice lizard and Cat was his once again, spending her time napping under his heat lamp.

Dean, set up similarly, was left empty for a while, mourning the fact that he was once again without partnership and that Sam had regained his own. Then something miraculous happens. A little salamander is plopped into his tank, and as it burrows into the mossy soil and enjoys the gentle warmth of his own, smaller but just as powerful heat lamp, the salamander and Dean recognize each other. It is Castiel, reincarnated as a salamander. They live happily ever after. The end.

**Author's Note:**

> just.
> 
> i don't know.
> 
> i'm sorry you had to read this.


End file.
